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One of my favorite questions non-horse people would ask is: “How do you get them to lie down for the massage?” Of course, the answer is that horses don’t lie down. They get massaged standing up.

I took to equine massage like it was something I’d been doing my whole life. My background in nursing and anatomy was a huge help. While the human and equine bodies don’t have exactly the same muscles or bones, the muscles function the same basic way. As muscles contract and extend, they move parts of the skeleton, so it was easy for me to make the anatomical leap to the way the body of a horse works.

I read everything I could about things that could go wrong with the bodies of horses — injuries, deformities, illnesses, etc. — so I could help their muscles cope with the compensating they needed to do. Everything is connected in the body of a horse, from the ground up and a problem in one area will affect other parts of the body as well.

I was often at barns when farriers visited and learned everything I could from them about hoof problems and horseshoes. Some of those farriers even became clients. I was also blessed, early in my career to work at a barn where I met an equine vet who offered to take me on “ride alongs” once or twice a month for a year or so. I got to see and learn a LOT from this vet. He too later became a long term client.

The magical thing to me was the way the horses took to my massage work. Even before I realized they were communicating with me, the communication process was happening. I talked to them with my voice, body language and my hands. The horses understood that I was going to help them feel better.

Sometimes during the first massage, because the horse was so tight and sore, they would be reactive — which was totally understandable. As I worked with their muscles, I told them I understood that it was going to be OK — and they knew I was listening. It makes a huge difference when animals know we’re listening. The horse would get less and less reactive as the massage progressed and they realized I could help them feel better. By the second massage, they couldn’t wait for me to start!

I have heard more than one person (not my clients) say, “My horse doesn’t work hard enough to deserve a massage.” That is so wrong. Every horse, no matter what work discipline they are used for or what age they are — will get tight muscles. If they’ve had an injury or physical issue, that will affect their muscles even more as they try to compensate. The same is true for humans, but humans can decide to skip or shorten the 5 mile run or swimming workout if they’re sore. Horses don’t have that option. They are expected to perform no matter what is happening with their bodies. To me, all horses are athletes, even if they are retired athletes. They willingly carry us around and do the best they can to do what we want. If they object or refuse — we should not assume it’s a behavior issue — because quite often, it’s not.

I worked at a barn that had a trainer who taught students jumping and who had his own horse jumping at the grand pix level. For anyone who is not into equine sports, grand prix horses jump fences that are 5 feet high and jumps that are 6 feet wide. A horse has to be a serious athlete to jump at the grand prix level.

One winter the jumper trainer asked me to work on his grand prix jumping horse, Renaldo. Renaldo was a character and a lot of people didn’t like him because he was not always predictable or cooperative — but I take every horse as I see them and don’t let other people’s issues cloud my judgment of the horse. Renaldo was a bit of a handful for me (he was a playful horse) but once he realized I was going to help him feel better, we had no further problems.

During the winter at this barn, it was only possible to ride inside in a medium sized arena. Jumping was possible, but only over 2 to 3 fences, due to the space issue and only 2 jumps could be set up at a time — a lot less than a normal jumping course. So the jumpers didn’t get much of a work out in the winter.

As spring arrived, the trainer started working his horse in the much larger outdoor ring, where 8 or more jumps could be set up. Right from the start, he set the jumps to the maximum height of 5 feet. Even without being told, I knew that Renaldo was working a lot harder — his muscles became extremely tight and sore, even though I was massaging him once a week. I mentioned this to the trainer and suggested maybe backing off on the high jumps a bit and gradually working up to the higher jumping heights would be helpful to Renaldo. His response was, “He’s lucky he’s getting massages. Do you want me to just have him jump 12 inches? I’m the trainer — you fix his muscles.” Of course that wasn’t what I meant at all . . . even human runners warm up slowly after a winter of little activity, right?

Nothing changed with Renaldo’s work level and his muscles were sore every week. One day I was at the barn to see another horse. I walked into the barn, past the door to the arena and started talking to the client whose horse I was there to see. After a few minutes, we heard a commotion in the arena and looked up to see Renaldo at the arena door — looking right at me. Someone who had been in the arena at the time told me later that Renaldo and the groom had been walking at the far end of the arena, where he couldn’t possibly have seen me come in. But when he heard my voice, he suddenly stopped walking and then dragged the groom to the arena door!

I didn’t need a translator to understand the look on Renaldo’s face: “Help me! I need another massage!” The groom was struggling to drag Renaldo back into the arena without success. Renaldo was just standing in the doorway staring at me. When 1000 pounds+ of horse doesn’t want to move, it’s not going to move! I went over to Renaldo, rubbed his neck and told him I’d work on him in a few days. He got the message. He dropped his head and let the groom lead him away.

Another horse who showed clearly that he knew my voice was a handsome Arabian gelding named King.

I massaged King monthly for several years. He didn’t like to stand in the cross ties — he would get very fussy — but always stood quietly for his massages.

After a few years, King’s person started having financial issues and had to stop scheduling massages. It was very hard for her to tell me to stop scheduling King. She knew how much King loved his massage and how much it helped him, but she had to trim her budget so she could keep King. I completely understood and told her that if things got better for her we could start massage again. She said she would keep in touch.

Five years went by before King’s person contacted me to schedule monthly massages again for King.

When I arrived on the scheduled day, King’s person and I talked for a while near the parking area, well away from the barn. There was a lot to catch up on! After a short time, I started hearing King in the barn fussing about being in the cross ties — normal behavior for King.

We continued to talk as we talked toward the barn. As we got close to the barn, the fussing suddenly stopped. When we walked into the barn, King had his head up and ears pointed at the door — he’d heard my voice and was looking for me! As soon as I walked over to King and let him smell me, he put his head down and relaxed completely. He hardly moved a muscle the whole time I worked on him. No question that he remembered me and was SO happy to get his massages again!

There will be more stories from my massage career coming in the future!

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“Sky massaged my horses for about 10 years. I could always feel a difference in their movement when Sky worked on my horses. The special thing about Sky is her devotion to every horse she cares for. She works not just with the body of the horse — their emotional health is very important to her as well. She is able to communicate to each horse a sense of calm and trust. Sky’s love for horses and her special talent in understanding their needs benefits my horses greatly.” — Kathy L., NJ.

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A few months after I started communicating with animals, the owner of a barn where I was massaging horses, asked me to do an evaluation of an elderly grey pony mare named Smudge to see if massage might help her feel more comfortable. Although Smudge’s person rarely visited, she had placed Smudge at this barn because she knew that the barn owner would give Smudge the love and care she deserved.

Smudge was not just elderly — she also had severe arthritis. The arthritis in her neck was so severe, that she had to be fed in a low sided pan placed on the floor because she could hardly lift her nose off the ground. The rest of her body was also arthritic, but her neck was the most significant issue.

I did my evaluation . . . the muscles in Smudge’s neck were incredibly tight and sore from trying to support her painful neck — but her shoulders, back and hind quarters were tight as well, from trying to support the rest of her body. She had many very hard knots in her muscles too that had obviously been there a long time as she tried to compensate for her pain and do as much as she could to keep going in life. As I did my evaluation, gently probing Smudge’s muscles for tightness and knots, Smudge made it clear that although her body was not young or flexible, there was nothing wrong with her heart and mind. She let me know very clearly every time I hit a sore spot!

Smudge was a cranky, crabby girl and no one was getting away with doing anything to her she didn’t like because, despite everything, she was still very actively participating in life. Smudge was a fighter and definitely not ready to give up on her life, despite all her difficulties. I respected Smudge and liked her for her spicy attitude. I told the barn owner that I obviously couldn’t cure the arthritis, but I felt that I could help Smudge’s muscles to function better which would help her compensate better and feel better over all, despite her physical issues.

The barn owner got permission from Smudge’s person for me to do massage, so I started immediately. We agreed on weekly massages for at least a month.

Although Smudge was her usual cranky self at the start of her first massage, she very quickly realized that, as I loosened her muscles and released the knots, she was feeling better and better. She started to relax – licking and chewing, having a “soft eye”, even closing her eyes — all signs of relaxation in horses. Of course, every time I hit a sore spot, she let me know — but she also realized that she could trust me to make the soreness go way — and her cranky reactions became less and less intense.

When I massage a horse, I connect with them and we have two way communication. Although it’s not a “conversation,” we still connect in a deep way. They understand and listen to me, I understand and listen to them — and we work together to help get the best results possible. This was definitely the case with Smudge — but the connection with her was different. I was still new to communicating with animals, so it was astonishing to me to connect with her in such a deep way. I felt like I’d known her forever and it felt like we were connected at the heart level.

Each time I massaged Smudge, she was able to lift her head a bit more. The barn owner was as happy as Smudge and I were that this was the case. After Smudge’s second massage, the barn owner told me that Smudge was able to lift her head above her withers briefly for the first time in years. I was so happy for Smudge it brought tears to my eyes and I was so grateful that I could help her to feel better.

Sadly, after Smudge’s third massage, the barn owner told me that while Smudge’s neck was better, the rest of her body was starting to fail and she was having more difficulty walking. The barn owner felt it was time to help Smudge cross to Spirit, but asked me to talk to Smudge to see is she was ready to cross over.

This was the first time I’d had to talk to an animal about crossing to Spirit. I had no idea what to expect and no preconceived idea of how things might go. My intention was to allowed the conversation to unfold in whatever way it would. That is still what I do every time I discuss crossing over — or anything else — with an animal.

I talked to Smudge. She told/showed me that the arthritis had been bad for a very long time but she couldn’t give in to it. She wasn’t going to give in to the pain — she was far too stubborn for that! But she said she was ready to cross now. I asked her what had changed for her and why she was ready to cross over now that she felt better. Smudge said that now that she felt better, she could finally let go. When she said this, the image that came to me was someone gripping something in a clenched fist so tight and for so long, that the hand forgets how to let go. Now that Smudge felt better, she could finally start to release her grip on life. Smudge was not sad talking about crossing over. She looked at crossing over the way she looked at everything — that she would do it on her own terms with a clear mind and heart. She knew her spirit was going to something better and that she would be pain free when she left her hurting body.

I massaged Smudge that last time and she enjoyed it completely. It was bittersweet for me — I knew I’d probably never see her again. I told her I would hold her in my heart and would never forget her. I walked away from the barn that day with tears running down my cheeks because I felt I was losing a friend.

I told the barn owner that Smudge was ready to cross over. She said she would talk to Smudge’s person, who she was sure would agree, then talk to the vet. The barn owner told me a few days later that the vet would be out sometime in the next week to help Smudge cross to Spirit and she would let me know how Smudge’s crossing went. She promised to be with Smudge until her last breath.

A few days later, on Saturday, I woke up suddenly out of a sound sleep. My eyes flew open and I was completely alert — there had been no noise and nothing in the house to wake me. I knew that it was Smudge who woke me, to tell me she was in Spirit. I closed my eyes and the picture that came to me was Smudge, looking young and fit, cantering up a green, grassy hill into a sunrise. All I felt from Smudge was peace and happiness. I checked the clock — it was 8 AM. I’d never experienced anything like that before . . . but I had no doubt about what I experienced.

On Monday, the barn owner called me to tell me that Smudge had been helped to Spirit on Saturday. She said it was a very peaceful crossing. I asked what time the vet did the procedure. She told me it was 8 AM. It was the confirmation I needed that Smudge had come to me in Spirit to tell me she was free at last.

Later that day, I connected to Smudge in Spirit. Of course Smudge was no longer physical, but she showed me herself as 3-4 years old, beautiful and fit, trotting, cantering and walking with her head and tail up, bright-eyed and sassy — a very happy pony! She said she was grateful that I was able to help her feel better, so she could cross to Spirit in peace.

To be honest, I was stunned by the connection I had with Smudge and I didn’t want it to end.

I told Smudge how grateful I was to have been able to help her. I asked if I could talk to her again in the future. She assured me I could talk to her anytime.

For the next 18 months, I talked to Smudge nearly every day. I was driving all over central NJ seeing clients and their horses, so I spent a lot of time in the car talking to Smudge. I told her about the horses I was working on and things the horses told me or things I felt from them. When I did communication sessions, I talked to Smudge about that. She gave me advice and guidance and taught me more about communicating with animals and, most important, listening to animals.

After 18 months, I started noticing a difference in my connection to Smudge. It was still there, but I felt she was withdrawing a bit and I understood that I should connect with her less often.

I felt our time was coming to an end. I wasn’t ready for that to happen, but listened to my intuition and connected with Smudge less and less often.

Almost two years to the day after Smudge crossed to Spirit, I talked to her again. I felt strong enough to ask her directly if our time together was over. I felt a rush of love in my heart — like a hug from Smudge from Spirit — and she said that it was time for me to continue on my own. She said she’d taught me everything she could and I was ready to go on without her help. Smudge said she needed to move on too, but she would always have a connection with me.

It made me sad to think of loosing Smudge’s support, but I felt the truth of what she said. I knew I was ready. I felt like I was graduating . . . but couldn’t help the tears that came when I finished talking to Smudge that last time.

In time, I realized that Smudge was my first Spirit Guide. It was an honor to know her, both in life and in Spirit, and I will never forget her and all she did for me.

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That was how Anne met Myrtle. Myrtle is an African sideneck turtle. At approximately 3 years old, Myrtle is a pretty big girl. She weighs 5 pounds and her shell measures about 9 inches long — 11 inches total with her neck stretched out. The species is called “sideneck” because they can’t tuck their heads into their shells when threatened — they turn their heads/necks to the side instead.

Anne knew from the beginning that having a turtle as big as Myrtle meant having a big tank for her to live in — so she got a 100 gallon tank for Myrtle to call home. All water turtles like swimming and basking (think sunbathing,) so Anne made sure that Myrtle had two dry area, covered by sand for basking and water for swimming in her tank. From her experience with Speedy, Anne knew a lot about creating a positive environment for turtles. She did everything she could think of to help make Myrtle happy . . . but somehow Anne felt that Myrtle wasn’t as happy as she hoped she’d be.

Anne contacted me about scheduling an animal communication session for Myrtle soon after that. While I’ve talked to turtles before, African sidekick turtles were new to me and I’d never talked to a turtle who was as big as Myrtle. I was looking forward to talking to her.

When I initially connected to Myrtle, she seemed a bit standoffish. She gave me permission to talk to her, but Myrtle wasn’t very open or talkative. It wasn’t that she was afraid — on the contrary she seemed quite confident — but she just didn’t seem to think much of humans. When I told Anne this, she said it made sense to her because Myrtle didn’t interact with her much. Speedy, on the other hand, was all about interacting with Anne and the “outside” world. In fact, he was a media star and had a fan club due to all the photos and videos of him that Anne posted on social media.

Myrtle, on the other hand, was just the opposite. My initial feeling was that Myrtle was used to being ignored and that she just accepted what she was given, in terms of her food and environment, and made the best of it. After all, what choice did she have? But now that she was with Anne, things were going to change!

I encouraged Myrtle to share and told her we’d listen to everything she had to say. I told her that if anything in her life needed changing, Anne would do her best to make it happen because Anne wanted her to be happy. Myrtle gave that some thought and she decided that if we would listen, she would have her say.

Myrtle made it clear to me that she wasn’t too happy about her habitat in the tank. When I asked her what she’d like changed . . . well, there was a lot! Myrtle would tell me/show me images of things, share her physical/emotional feelings about whatever she was telling me and I also “heard” what she had to say and I shared it all with Anne.

Myrtle felt that the environment of her tank was boring and sterile. She wanted a more natural environment. She showed me water plants and nibbling on the water plants. Anne said that there were no plants in Myrtle’s tank, but said she’d get some. Since Myrtle had showed me nibbling the water plants, I asked Anne if African sideneck turtles ate plants. Anne said they were omnivores — so they eat anything they can catch, plants included. Myrtle also felt the water was “too clean.” She liked it a little more mirky. Anne was meticulous about cleaning the turtles’ tanks, but she said she’d try to take out less of the “old” water when she cleaned the tank and added clean water.

Next Myrtle told/showed me that she did not like the sand on the dry parts of her tank because it was difficult for her to get traction on it, so it was difficult for her to pull herself on to the dry area. Anne said she would see what she could figure out.

Food was the next item for discussion. Myrtle showed me she would prefer live food to hunt. Although this made sense to Anne, since turtles are omnivores, it also made Anne uncomfortable. In Anne’s words, “I’m a sap and have not gotten my mind around this yet because I have feelings for all creatures.” She said she would try to find something that might work for Myrtle — maybe live meal worms — but she wasn’t sure she’d be able to find them.

Anne wanted to know if the small flies that were in her tank bothered Myrtle. They were very annoying, Myrtle told me — because she couldn’t catch them and eat them.

Since Anne interacted a lot with her other turtle, Speedy, Anne wanted to know if Myrtle had any preferences about how Anne interacted with her. Myrtle showed me that she didn’t like when Anne looked at her from above the tank. She preferred that Anne look at her from the side of the tank . . . and tapping on the glass was never OK. Anne said she never, ever tapped on the glass of the tank. Myrtle confirmed that this was true — but showed me that people in the pet store did it a LOT, which Myrtle found to be very rude.

As we finished up the session, Myrtle seemed quite pleased to find that Anne was really listening to her and wanted to make things better for her. The idea that someone would care about her was clearly a new concept for her. Myrtle clearly enjoyed the session. Anne found the experience fascinating and scheduled a follow up session a month later, so we could check on the changes she planned to make in Myrtle’s environment.

The next time we talked to Myrtle, she was clearly more relaxed and happy.

Anne had gotten live plants for Myrtle’s tank, but hadn’t observed Myrtle nibbling them. Myrtle said she liked the plants, but “they weren’t the right plants for nibbling.” Anne said she would try to see what she could figure out for new plants.

Anne hadn’t figured out a good way to give Myrtle better traction to help her up on the dry parts of her tank, but she’d put flat rocks in the dry areas and hoped that would help. Myrtle showed me that the sand was still a problem for her — but she loved the flat rocks in the dry areas, which gave her a place to bask. Anne said she would keep working on this and would add more flat rocks too.

There was a underwater stone tunnel in Myrtle’s tank and Anne said Myrtle spent a lot of time in there. Anne was concerned that Myrtle did this because she was depressed. When I asked Myrtle about it, she said she liked to be in the tunnel. It was a hiding place — but not because she was fearful or upset. The “hiding” felt like a natural part of her life as a turtle and wasn’t an indicator of a problem or issue. Anne was really relieved to hear that!

Anne said she would continue to work on making the changes Myrtle requested and we scheduled another appointment for the following month.

When we talked again, Anne said they’d had a real challenge with Myrtle’s and Speedy’s tanks. The live plants apparently had a snail eggs on them that were invisible to the eye and the result was a snail infestation in both tanks. Needless to say, the live plants had to go. Anne put in a lot of plastic plants instead. She was still working on getting rid of the snails, though. Anne was concerned about how Myrtle felt about the plastic plants and the snail infestation.

Myrtle said she did NOT like the snails. I explained that the snails came in on the live plants, which is why Anne got the plastic plants and that Anne was doing her best to get rid of the snails. I asked Myrtle how she felt about the plastic plants. She showed me “hiding” in them —not out of fear — it was more for fun. The feeling from her was that the plastic plants were good camouflage and that they were a better place to hide than the tunnel. She showed me the tunnel being empty and spending more time in the plastic plants. Anne confirmed that Myrtle spent very little time in the tunnel since the plastic plants were put in.

We talked about the dry areas of Myrtle’s tank next. Anne said that she had raised the water level in Myrtle’s tank because it occurred to her that raising the water level of the tank might help Myrtle have an easier time getting out of the water. Myrtle showed me that raising the water level has made all the difference to her! She no longer has to struggle and can just slide on to the dry areas and doesn’t have to rely on her “grip” to pull herself out. Anne told me that she’d also added more flat rocks to the dry areas and that Myrtle spent a long time rearranging the rocks until she had them where she wanted them — “She’s quite the architect!” Myrtle said “the dry areas are perfect now” and showed me that she spends a lot of time “basking” on the rocks. Anne confirmed that Myrtle is basking a lot more, now that she can get up on the rocks more easily.

Anne wanted to see how Myrtle felt about the food she was getting: meal worms, frozen brine shrimp and freeze dried shrimp. Myrtle was very clear that she LOVED the meal worms — next best were the frozen brine shrimp and last was the freeze dried shrimp. She showed me that the texture of the frozen shrimp felt more “natural” to her, but she would eat the freeze dried shrimp too. Anne confirmed that Myrtle was enthusiastic about the food options in the order Myrtle had indicated.

From the beginning Myrtle had been living next to Anne’s other turtle, Speedy. They could see each other through the glass of their aquariums where they were on the dry areas — so Anne wanted to know how Myrtle felt about Speedy. Myrtle said that Speedy talked a LOT (animals talk telepathically)— but she said she liked listening to Speedy. It was like having a happy friend who talks a lot and is fun to listen to. Myrtle showed me that they hung out together and keep each other company, “We’re friends. I never had a friend before.”

Anne told me that she had been gradually putting less and less “old” water and more clean water into Myrtle’s tank when she cleaned it and at this point, each water change Myrtle got all clean water. She was concerned about this, since Myrtle had initially said she likes her water more “mirky.” But when I asked Myrtle about this, she said she loved the clean water now! She was just used to the mirky water at the pet store — they never cleaned her tank properly. She said, “Now I think the clean water is really good!”

The next month when we talked, the first topic we discussed was the snails. Myrtle showed me that they were “everywhere” — on her skin, her shell, in her food and all over the tank. They were very annoying and unpleasant — really interfering with her life/happiness.

Anne confirmed that the snails were everywhere — and in Speedy’s tank too. She said the only way to get rid of the snails was to transfer the turtles to small temporary tanks for 3-5 days so Anne could do a complete cleaning and drying out of the big tanks. Anne asked me to tell both Myrtle and Speedy about the need to transfer to the small tanks so she could get rid of the snail infestation.

Myrtle did not want to be picked up. She showed me struggling and panicking when she was picked up. Anne confirmed that this was the case, so she didn’t pick Myrtle up any more. Myrtle showed me that her reaction was nothing personal to Anne, just an instinctive reaction to being picked up. I explained to Myrtle that the only way to get rid of the snails was to get picked up and moved to the smaller tank. Myrtle said she definitely wanted the snails gone, so she agreed to try not to panic and remember that the move was temporary to get rid of the snails . . . But she would be happy to be back in her big tank, snail free.

Speedy was equally upset about the snails. He had no problem with being picked up and being transfers to the smaller tank — he just wanted the snails gone, whatever it was going to take.

Speedy was concerned that in the smaller tank they might not be near each other — he was concerned about Myrtle getting lonely without him. Anne said that they would be in the same room, but not next to each other. I told the turtles about this arrangement and I encouraged Speedy to keep talking telepathically to Myrtle and Myrtle would understand. Anne said she would be sure to show/tell each of the turtles where the other one was in the room. I told Myrtle that Speedy would be talking to her over distance and she thought that was a great idea!

I asked Myrtle if she was happy in her new home — except for the snails, of course. Myrtle said she felt like “part of the family now.” She said that she felt that Anne really cared about her and tried to make her life better. This made Myrtle feel really happy — she felt like she was considered and “seen” for the first time in her life.

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When the turtles were back in their big tanks, after the intense tank cleaning, Anne let me know that Myrtle was completely calm and relaxed during the transfer to the small tank and back to the big tank — she did not struggle at all! Speedy was calm too. It was clear to Anne that both turtles were thrilled to be back in their tanks and reunited for basking time in their big, snail free tanks!

We’ve continued to talk to Anne’s turtles — and cats — as needed. Anne said, “The whole family and all the pets sure appreciate you!”

“Sky’s talks with Myrtle have greatly improved Myrtle’s attitude and outlook on life. Before Sky started talking to her, Myrtle seemed bored and not interested in much and would only interact with us occasionally. Since we started talking to Myrtle with Sky, Myrtle has been more interactive and even looks happier. Myrtle always has so much to say each time we talk to her! I look forward to our next chat.” — Anne T., CO

The post Myrtle: She Finally Gets Her Say appeared first on Sky and the Animals.

Tony, their LGD, was getting near to retirement age. Tony is a Maremma, an LGD breed similar to the Great Pyrenees, but taller and less bulky. Tony is a wonderful dog and when Gloria and Marc heard that there was a 7 month old female Maremma in need of a home, they eagerly offered to make her part of their animal family.

Not being beginners at adopting rescues, Gloria and Marc thought they would be able to help their new Maremma adjust easily. However, after 3 months things were not going as well as they had hoped, so they reached out to me. Their wanted to understand their new furry family member better and help her understood them better too. So we got an appointment scheduled to talk to their new dog, who they named Emmy Lou.

The first thing Emmy Lou told us was, “This is my home. I live here now.” Marc and Gloria were thrilled to hear this, since this was exactly what they’d been telling Emmy since the day she arrived.

They wanted to be sure that Emmy Lou liked her name. She said she did like it and that she was happy to have a name because she never had one before. She showed me that she’d been called “the dog” or “that dog” but didn’t have an actual name for the seven months prior to coming to live with Marc and Gloria — at least no name she recognized. Emmy said, “I know they [Marc and Gloria] love me because people name the things they love.”

We asked Emmy Lou about her work on the farm. She told me/showed me that she totally understood her job and was very proud of this fact. She knew she was responsible for guarding/observing and supervising all the animals who lived outside — they were all her flock — and she took her responsibility for them very seriously. Gloria asked me to let Emmy know that if she had any questions or wasn’t sure about something regarding her work, she could check with their retired guardian dog, Tony. Emmy quickly to pointed out, “I don’t really think he would have anything to teach me. I am an excellent guardian dog and I have a very good bark!” Gloria and Marc confirmed that Emmy’s bark was loud and effective. They were very happy that Emmy was so confident in her work.

Emmy’s observational skills are strong and she had opinions about other animals on the farm too . . .

Emmy Lou felt that Tony, the retired LGD, was sad. Gloria and Marc were not surprised to hear this, since Tony’s soulmate dog companion had crossed to Spirit 6 months before.

Regarding Rocky, Marc and Gloria’s 12 year old Yorkshire Terrier, Emmy told us, “he doesn’t have a job. He just lives in the house and has to have people take care of him.” I could feel Emmy’s pride in knowing that she took care of herself outside and did not need pampering. Marc and Gloria couldn’t stop laughing when they heard this assessment of Rocky. In his younger days, Rocky was constantly on rodent patrol at the farm, but when they acquired cats, Rocky turned the messy job of rodent control over to the cats. Since then, he has indeed become a pampered house dog.

We asked about the animals that Emmy Lou was responsible for — the sheep and goats. Emmy did not think the sheep were particularly smart, which is why they needed her to guard them. The two goats were a different story. Emmy showed me that anytime people were around, the goats were constantly trying to hog all the attention. The only human word I could find for Emmy’s feeling about their attention seeking behavior was “shameless” — and so undignified, in Emmy’s opinion, to seek attention like that! Gloria and Marc completely agreed with Emmy’s assessment — the goats were indeed “shameless” in their attention seeking!

Gloria and Marc were curious about what Emmy thought about the neighbor’s dogs. With a distinct air of superiority, Emmy told me immediately that the neighbor’s dogs were “bad dogs” because they bark — a LOT. She felt they were very poorly trained and that their behavior was rude. Gloria and Marc though this was hilarious because the neighbor dogs do, in fact, bark — a LOT. Livestock guardian dogs only bark when they need to scare away predators or when there is a problem — so you can see why Emmy would feel the neighbor’s dogs were behaving badly.

One issue that we’ve talked to Emmy Lou about several times is the way she avoids and fears human touch. It was clear to me that this behavior was not personal to Marc and Gloria — it was related to what Emmy had experienced at her previous home. Hearing this was a great relief to Marc and Gloria — because they had been taking her avoidance personally and couldn’t figure out why Emmy avoided their touch. When I asked Emmy Lou what has happened to her before coming to Marc and Gloria, Emmy showed me only quick flashes of things, because she couldn’t bear to think about it. She showed me being grabbed by her collar and jerked/dragged from place to place — not just once, but all the time. That was her only experience of touch by humans. It felt to me like she was treated like an object, a tool to be used, not as a being with feelings. When I explained this to Marc and Gloria, they were heart broken to understand what Emmy had experienced. But this just made them more determined than ever to be patient and loving so Emmy could know that touch was positive and enjoyable.

Progress on touching Emmy Lou has been slow, but she’s trying to overcome her fears. Talking to Emmy has helped Marc and Gloria too. “Our behavior and attitudes are so much more relaxed now that we understand Emmy better,” Gloria stated. She and Marc are prepared to do whatever it takes to continue to help Emmy with this issue — including scheduling communication sessions as needed, since she shows progress each time we talk to her.

Recently Gloria and Marc contacted me because of a change in Emmy Lou’s behavior. For several nights, Emmy had been making an odd yelping, yapping bark which was totally different from her normal alert bark for predators. The yelping started around 11 PM and would continue for a while every couple hours until about 4 AM. Marc said he’d gone out to check for predators or other disturbance, but couldn’t see or hear anything and trying to comfort and calm Emmy Lou only helped until he went back in the house. They were at wit’s end, since all the yelping was keeping them awake and upsetting Emmy Lou. They were at a loss to figure out what the problem was and were getting more and more sleep deprived as a result.

When I asked Emmy about the cause of the yelping, it was completely clear that she heard/saw something unusual — but it was gong to take some detective work to figure it out.

I asked Emmy Lou if predators were causing her odd barking. Emmy was very clear the trigger was NOT predators — but there was something! She showed me a sound, but trying to translate dog audible sound to human audible was a challenge, believe me! Initially I thought the sound was like a short metallic screech — high pitched and unpleasant — but I knew it wasn’t actually metallic. The sound was very irritating to Emmy — like fingernails on a chalk board would be irritating to a human. I asked Emmy to show me more. She showed me looking up . . .

I had my suspicions, so I asked Marc and Gloria if they thought it was possible that Emmy was seeing/hearing bats hunting in the air above the field.

They both agreed that there were bats in the area, in fact there had been a real uptick in the numbers lately, and the timing made sense too, including the intervals between yelping sessions as the bats flew to other areas and came back. So my suspicions were correct — Emmy Lou was seeing/hearing bats flying above the fields catching insects stirred up by her and the animals. Marc and Gloria were thrilled to finally know what the issue was!

Of course, now we needed to figure out a way to help Emmy Lou understand that the bats were not a threat. With Marc and Gloria’s permission, I told/showed Emmy Lou what bats were and why they make the high pitched sounds. I told/showed her that the bats were actually helping her flock by eating the bugs that bother the flock and Emmy Lou — so they were actually helping to take care of the flock. I told her that the more bugs the bats ate, the safer the animals would be. I told her/showed her that just as Emmy Lou takes care of the flock on the ground, the bats take care of the flock in the air — so the bats were part of the flock too. Emmy Lou still didn’t like the sound the bats made, so I suggested that she move a bit away from the area where the bats were, so she could still watch the flock, but not be in direct line with the bat sounds.

I went over all of this several times, reinforcing that the bats were part of Emmy Lou’s flock and that they protected the flock just like Emmy Lou does. Emmy Lou, who always needs to think things through, considered what I’d said. Finally she said, “OK. They are part of my flock.”

There are never any guarantees about behavior issues, but I was optimistic that Emmy Lou would be able to stop barking at the bats. But only time would tell . . .

The next day, Gloria emailed with an exciting update, “You hit a home run with that communication! Emmy Lou barked only a couple of times last night — brief and annoyed, but not the wacky, yelping bark she was doing before you talked to her. Your deduction that the bats squeaking was upsetting her and your explanation to her that they were doing good things made a HUGE difference!”

I got further feed back from Gloria the following day — “No barking last night! Again, I am amazed! The bat deduction basically turned off her barking which had been keeping us awake for nights on end!” There has been no yelping barking since.

After a bit of detective work, finding an explanation that made sense and coming up with a plan for dealing with the issue — Marc and Gloria can get a good night’s sleep again and Emmy can supervise her ground and air flock without distress!

“Here’s the big thing . . . We thought Emmy’s weird barking was a deep behavioral or psychological problem on her part. What we learned, after Sky talked to Emmy was that her behavior was entirely appropriate! Emmy had a problem and she was responding to it the best she could. It was us who didn’t understand the problem.

So Sky to the rescue! With Sky’s help and ability to interpret Emmy’s information, we learned what was happening. This gave us real empathy for her response and now we know how to support her. Emmy learned what was causing the noise and was willing to have a higher tolerance. We all Win!! How cool is that?” — Gloria and Marc F., WA.

The post Emmy Lou: Mystery Solved appeared first on Sky and the Animals.

Mary told me that Henry was allowed to roam free in the garden. The garden (that’s the back yard, for you folks in the US) has a low wall around it, so they hadn’t had any concern that Henry would escape. Mary said that Henry would disappear occasionally, but would always reappear in a few hours, so she didn’t get concerned about his disappearing act.

One day the week before we talked, they couldn’t find Henry when they looked for him. They weren’t too concerned until the next day when Henry still hadn’t shown himself. At that point, they got really worried and searched everywhere, but there was no sign of Henry.

A few hours later, Mary received a call from a friend who said that she’d seen a post on Facebook from a local school saying that some kids had found a tortoise and brought it to school. The school posted on Facebook about it, hoping to find the tortoise’s owner. Mary knew immediately that this was Henry and went to pick him up. Henry was safe again in the garden at home.

Mary wanted to know how Henry got out of the garden. As soon as I connected to Henry, I felt he was very intelligent and like to experiment, try things out and he showed me that he especially liked to climb on things. Mary confirmed that all this was true — Henry was not your typical tortoise!

Henry showed me that the day he’d escaped, he’d been having his usual wander in the garden and came upon something that he could climb upwards on. He was intensely curious and excited to investigate where this would lead him! Henry’s intent was not to escape, just to see where his investigation would take him. Henry has an adventurous spirit for sure! Mary confirmed that Henry had always been amazingly curious and interested in investigating new things he came across.

Henry showed me climbing up to the top of the wall. It took some figuring on Henry’s part to see how to do this, but Henry persisted and figured it out. I asked Mary if this was possible — she said, a bit ruefully, “It is.” Henry showed me that when he got to the top of the wall, he over balanced to the outside of the wall. As his weight tipped, he showed me pulling his head and legs into his shell for protection. Mary said she’s seen Henry do exactly that other times when Henry was exploring and climbing.

Henry showed me that once he’d recovered from falling over, he looked around and then started off very enthusiastically for parts unknown. That may sound silly, but that’s exactly what he showed me! Henry was eager for his adventure and felt safe and very brave. He showed me striding through the grass — or what could be considered striding through the grass if you are a tortoise. He showed me he felt he was walked for a long time and went a very long way.

Mary said that Henry had indeed gone a long way — the kids found Henry two fields away from Mary and Simon’s house!

Mary asked if the kids had mistreated Henry. He showed me that the kids “were disrespectful,” poking him so he’d withdraw his head/legs and tapping his shell — but they didn’t hurt him. Henry said that he was grateful that the kids found him, because they got him back to Mary and Simon — not that he was ever really worried that he wouldn’t get back safely, of course. Henry is a very confident tortoise!

Mary was concerned that Henry would try to wander again. He said, “I enjoyed my adventure, but home is best.” He showed me feeling very content and happy to be home. Henry told me he had no intention of wandering again . . . but I encouraged Mary and Simon to really “tortoise-proof” the garden just in case. They said they definitely would do that.

There was one more question on Mary’s mind . . . When Henry is in the garden and they can’t find him, where does he hide? When I asked about this, I could feel Henry smiling. Henry showed me that his hiding place was a dark, hidden place that he went to. He said, with pride and self satisfaction, “But where that hiding place is, is my secret.” My impression was that when Henry went to his hiding place, he felt he was invisible — and it was fun for him to be “invisible” and watch Mary and Simon looking for him. Clearly, tortoises have senses of humor just like everyone else!

**************************************************************************************************

A Year Plus Later . . .

I hadn’t seem Mary or Simon for quite a while, but they came to see me at a recent fair in the UK. The first thing they told me was that Henry had “done a runner” in July — escaping from their back garden yet again. Of course they wanted to talk to him about it.

Mary said they’d done their best to “tortoise proof” the back garden, but still Henry escaped. When I asked Henry how he got out, he showed me a back corner of the garden, where two walls came together — it seemed to me to be on the right side of the yard at the back. Mary and Simon confirmed that it was possible he got out there. I asked Henry to show/tell me how he got over the wall. With as much pride as a tortoise can show, Henry said, “I’m not telling ALL my secrets!” From what Henry showed me, it looked to me like this was the opposite side of the garden from where he escaped the last time. Mary confirmed that this was true.

Mary said that Henry went through a field, across a neighbor’s garden and was walking down the side of a road when a kind man stopped his vehicle and picked Henry up. The man took Henry home and told a friend he’d found a lost tortoise. The friend had another friend post a notice on FaceBook about the lost tortoise. As happened the first time, a friend of Mary and Simon’s saw the post and alerted Mary that someone had found Henry.

Mary set out as soon as possible to retrieve Henry, but on the way her friend notified her that someone else had also lost their tortoise and was going to see if the “found” tortoise was theirs. Mary realized she would now have to provide proof of identification that the lost tortoise was Henry. After a moment of panic, Mary remembered that Henry had a distinctive orange marking on his shell. The man who found Henry verified that the “found” tortoise had the distinctive orange marking on his shell and Henry was reunited with Mary.

We told Henry that Mary and Simon were very worried about him and that it was very, very dangerous to wander off like that. Henry said, with supreme confidence, “I know they were worried, but [not his words, but the feeling of “I had everything well in hand”] — and besides, I was on my way home.”

Mary and Simon told me that since the latest escape, Henry has been grounded. They made him a pen outside, that they are sure he can’t escape from, but allows him time in his beloved outdoors. I asked Henry about the pen. He said he would like it to be bigger and he wanted some things that he could climb on inside the pen. Mary said they could take care of both of those requests. Henry was happy to hear it and, at least for now, is happy to stay in him pen.

“Thank you for talking to our animals, Sky — it makes all the difference!” — Mary D., UK.

The post Henry’s BIG Adventures appeared first on Sky and the Animals.

In addition to the horses, my client had a young Jersey Cow calf. This seemed odd to me, since my client was a western rider and Jersey cows are milk cows — not the kind of cow you’d use for western roping competitions. I asked my client one day why he’d gotten the calf. He looked embarrassed and said that he’d lived in New Jersey all his life — and had always wanted a Jersey cow. What did he name the calf? He named her Jersey, of course! He then added, a bit sheepishly, “and they are really cute too”.

I didn’t let him catch me smiling — I didn’t want to embarrass him — but I thought this was so sweet!

After I finished the massages, I’d sit at the picnic table outside the riding arena writing my notes about the massages. Jersey was always in the arena while I was writing my notes. She was adorable! I always talked to her out loud through the arena fence and after a few visits, she started coming over to me on her own when she’d see me. I’d give Jersey face rubs and scratches on whatever part of her body she pointed me to, which she totally enjoyed. She was adorable! Although I didn’t have a formal conversation with Jersey, it was clear that we’d connected and that she like me — the feeling was mutual!

One day after I put the last horse away, I started chatting with Jess, the woman who did the barn chores. She was clearly not happy — actually she was angry — and when I asked her about it, she told me how frustrated she was with Jersey. Jess said, “The stupid calf won’t let me put the halter on her and she won’t walk with me on the lead line. She needs to go outside and play, but if I can’t take her out, she won’t be able to go. She’s driving me crazy because it takes too much time and effort to get her out to the arena and back in the barn. I have a lot of work to do and I can’t spend all my time fighting with the stupid calf! I was hired to work with horses, not stupid cows!”

I felt badly for both Jess and Jersey, who clearly were not understanding each other at all. I offered to talk to the calf to see if I could work things out between them. Jess said she was willing to try anything to get the calf to cooperate. Normally, I don’t talk to animals without their person’s permission, but this was a very specific issue and I thought it was OK. I felt that talking things over would really help, since Jess and Jersey were not communicating well.

I talked to Jersey. I asked her what she usually did when Jess tried to put the halter on. She showed me throwing her head around so Jess couldn’t put the halter on. Jess confirmed that this was what the calf did. I told Jersey that Jess needed her to accept getting the halter put on so she could take the calf to the arena to play. Jersey told me/showed me, “She doesn’t like me. She is too rough with me [when she puts the halter on] and pulls it too tight. She pulls on the rope too much when she walks me. I don’t like her either!”

It felt like I was talking to a two year old whose nanny was trying to get her to put on a sweater so she could be taken to the park. I told Jess what Jersey said. Jess got defensive. She said, “If Jersey was more cooperative, I could be more gentle!” Talk about the irresistible force was meeting the immovable object!

I told Jess that I’d work on getting Jersey to cooperate more, but I needed Jess’ help and cooperation too.

We talked about putting on Jersey’s halter. I told Jess that it was important not to pull the buckles on the harness too tight because that really bothered Jersey and made her less cooperative. Jess was a bit embarrassed that Jersey told me that. She said she was sorry and that she just did it out of frustration. I told her it was OK, but she shouldn’t do that in the future. Jess said she would remember. I told Jess that if she could try to be more light hearted/positive when she worked with Jersey, that it would really help too. She said she would try. I encouraged Jess to try to time things so she wasn’t in so much of a rush — that would help Jess be calmer — and Jess being calmer would help the calf be calmer too. All of this made sense to Jess and she said, “OK, I’ll really try. I don’t really hate Jersey — she’s really cute. I’ve just been so frustrated with her!”

I talked to Jersey. I explained what I’d talked to Jess about. I told Jersey that Jess would really work on being calmer and more positive when she put the halter on and would’t pull it too tight. I told Jersey that her part in this was to be more cooperative and let Jess put the halter on. I told/showed Jersey that if she could be as still as possible when Jess put the halter on [I showed her being still like a statue], then it would be over and done with and she could get more time playing in the arena. Jersey thought about it and said she would try to be more cooperative. She definitely wanted as much time out as possible!

I told Jess that my feeling was that Jersey would really try— but I thought that she might also test Jess now and then, regarding getting the halter put on and walking on the lead line. I encouraged Jess to ignore anything uncooperative that Jersey did — to just be calm and steady and to not take any evasive behavior seriously — to laugh it off and calmly remind Jersey to be still like a statue. Jess said she was sorry she had been getting so upset — “I can see that it didn’t help.” She said she would do her best to be calm.

Next I talked to Jess about the issue of walking Jersey on the lead line to and from the barn. Jess said, “She just won’t go! She fights me all the way — whether I’m taking her out or bringing her in. It makes me crazy!” I asked Jersey about it. She showed me resisting, pulling back from the pressure of the rope until it basically became a tug of war. I asked Jersey if she wanted to go out to the arena. She said, “Of course I do! But she shouldn’t pull on me. But I definitely don’t want to go back to the barn!” It was no fun for her to be stuck in the barn.

I asked Jess how often during the day the calf was allowed out in the arena. She told me that she was supposed to take the calf out between the times the horses were in the arena, which meant 3 or 4 times a day for at least an hour each time, sometimes more. Sadly, there were no paddocks at this farm, only the riding arenas for turn out.

I suggested to Jess that she try taking a playful, fun attitude toward leading Jersey in and out. I suggested she remind Jersey that when she came in, she’d be going out again soon. I encouraged Jess not to let the lead line go tight, to leave slack in the rope when she walked Jersey, so Jersey had nothing to pull against — to just go with Jersey if she pulled and not pull against her. I pointed out to Jess that pulling the lead line tight led to a “game” of tug-of-war — and no one was going to win it. Jess was able to see the wisdom of this and said she would try to be more gentle, not get frustrated and would not let the lead line time turn into a tug-of-war. Jess said, “If Jersey would be more cooperative, it would be a lot easier to make this a fun experience — but I”ll try.”

I talked to Jersey. I told her I understood that she wanted to be out all the time, but the horses needed to go out too and they had to share the space. I let her know that she would always go out 3-4 times a day, so the next time outside wasn’t really that far away. Jersey asked me, “When I come in, I’ll always go out again later?” I confirmed that this was true, except for the last turn out of the day — but then she’d be out again in the morning. Knowing that for sure, made Jersey feel a lot better about coming in. I asked Jersey if fighting Jess on the lead line ever got her longer time out. She admitted it didn’t. I told her that if she could be more cooperative — I showed her walking calmly and quietly out to the arena and back to the barn — she would actually have more time out, because Jess could leave her out until the last minute, then bring her in. Jersey thought that was a good idea and said she would try — “but she has to be nice to me.” I told Jersey that if she could cooperate, Jess would be a LOT nicer.

I told Jess what Jersey had said. Jess sighed and said, “OK, I guess if we both try it will work out.” At least both of them were willing to try!

The next time I was at the barn, Jess told me that things were going MUCH better with Jersey. She said that Jersey was cooperating well both with haltering and walking on the lead line. She told me that, “Jersey tests me sometimes to see if I’ll play tug-of-war with her on the lead line. But I just move with her and keep slack in the line and she gives up pretty quickly. She’s even letting me put the halter on her with a minimum of fuss.” Jess confirmed she was being careful about not making the halter straps too tight. Jess was so much happier and admitted that she was actually getting to like Jersey and said, “She’s actually kind of fun!”

That day after I finished with the massages and writing my notes, I went over to the arena fence to give Jersey the face rubs and scratches she was looking for. Jess came out to the arena and needed to bring Jersey in to the barn. She said a friend of my client was coming over with their horse and needed to use the arena, so Jersey had to come in early. I was collecting my things and getting ready to leave when Jess came over to my car. She was clearly frustrated and upset. She said, “Jersey won’t let me catch her and come into the barn! People are coming and I have to get her out of there or I’m going to be in trouble. Can you help me?”

I went over to the fence and called Jersey over. I told her she needed to let Jess take her back to the barn. Jersey told me, “It’s too early. I’m not going.” [Her attitude reminded me of a two year old being told that she needed to leave the playground earlier than usual.] I told Jersey that people and horses were coming, so she had to come in early. She was less than thrilled and wanted to know if she’d get to go out again later. I checked with Jess and Jess said that Jersey would get extra time out later, since the horses would get more time now. I told Jersey and she was very happy to hear that! I asked her if she’d race me to the gate, then go into the barn. She was very excited and said, “YES!” I started running along the fence line toward the gate — Jersey was right next to me the whole way. Everything about her energy and movement said “happy”. The only word to describe what she was doing was “gambolling” . The dictionary definition of that word is “running and jumping playfully” — that’s exactly what Jersey was doing! We got to the gate at the same time and Jess was able to hook on the lead line and take Jersey into the barn without any fussing from Jersey. Jess was stunned that Jersey was so cooperative. I again encouraged Jess to be more playful with Jersey. She said, “That worked great and took much less time than I expected — I will definitely try it!”

I continued to work at that farm for about 6 more months, until my client sold the horses I’d been working on. At the end of each of my visits Jersey got her face rubs and scratches through the fence when I finished with the horses. Jersey and I both looked forward to our time at the fence. When I stopped coming, I’m sure that Jersey missed seeing me as much as I missed her.

Jess reported that Jersey was getting easier to work with and more cooperative as time went on. She admitted that she was actually having fun with Jersey — and clearly she and Jersey were becoming friends.

The irresistible force had become friendship, rather than frustration!

The post Jersey: The irresistible Force Meets the Immovable Object appeared first on Sky and the Animals.

Samantha wondered what she’d gotten herself into, but she was determined to figure out what was going on with Honey. She sent me a photo of Honey — the photo on the left above. You can see the tension in her wide eyes and in her body language clearly. Samantha said this was Honey’s “normal” appearance — tense and on guard.

The first time I talked to Honey, Samantha was at the barn with her. When I connected to Honey, my initial impression was of mental chaos, like she was spinning. Honey said she wished she could calm down and relax. Samantha told me that at that moment, Honey had just been spooked by something outside and was in fact, spinning in her stall. We gave Honey a couple minutes to calm down, then continued the conversation.

I felt a tremendous amount of mental and physical tension from Honey — this seemed to me to be Honey’s normal state, not related to the spooking. Samantha confirmed that Honey never relaxed. Samantha wondered if pain in her body was a cause of Honey’s tension. Honey showed me that her teeth were painful and were rubbing on the inside of her cheeks. It felt to me like she needed to have her teeth seen to by the vet or equine dentist. Honey showed me that she also had pain in her poll, withers and sacroiliac joint and her left stifle. She showed me having a lot of muscle pain too — related both to the areas of pain she had mentioned and also from the tension she was carrying in her body. Basically, she was sore all over. Samantha said she would have Honey’s teeth looked at and also would have the vet do a lameness exam and chiropractic.

Samantha wanted to see if we could find out why Honey got so upset when asked to canter in the indoor. Honey showed me that a previous rider [not Samantha] had pushed her to the point that she felt she was incapable of doing what she was being asked to do. From what Honey showed me, the previous rider was trying to get Honey to “gait”. Saddlebreds are known for being five gaited horses — they have two additional gaits besides the walk, trot and canter. But not all Saddlebreds are five gaited. Honey showed me that she did her best to show this person that she couldn’t do what was being asked, but the person didn’t listen. Finally, Honey had no choice but to say “NO” in the loudest possible way — by rearing. Even thought Samantha was not pushing Honey to do anything but a simple canter, she was panicking and reacting out of fear. When I told Samantha this, she confirmed that Honey was not five gaited and understood why Honey was so frustrated by being asked to do something she wasn’t physically capable of doing.

Samantha said she did not want Honey to have fear when being ridden. We assured Honey that Samantha would always listen and would never ask her to do anything that she wasn’t capable of doing. Samantha agreed that if Honey was ever uncomfortable in the arena, she could bob her head and swish her tail and Samantha would immediately take her out of the arena, no questions asked. Honey thought this was a brilliant plan. She was so relieved that Samantha would listen and she said she would try to be brave and follow the plan. I also suggested that Samantha try walking Honey into the indoor arena, walk a circle, trot a circle if Honey was OK, then walk out and ride outdoors — slowly increasing the time working indoors as Honey learned it was safe. Samantha agreed completely with this plan and so did Honey.

Finding out what kind of work Honey wanted to do was very important to Samantha. To find out, I needed to know what the options were for Honey. Samantha said that Honey could continue to the specialized saddleseat work that she’d been doing before she came to Samantha or she could try dressage, trail riding or jumping. I showed/told Honey all the options. Honey was very clear that she did not want to do the saddleseat work ever again. But she was very excited and interested in jumping! She showed me that she thought she jumped beautifully and was really good at it. Samantha said that she’d tried Honey over jumps a few times and she did really well. Its pretty unusual for a Saddlebred to jump, but clearly, that was what Honey wanted to do and Samantha was excited to find work that Honey would love. I asked about trail riding and Honey liked that too. Honey wasn’t too sure about dressage, but when I told her it would help her get strong and fit, she said OK to that too — “but mostly jumping and trail riding” — Honey knew what she wanted!

Finally, we needed to talk to Honey about her behavior in her stall — the biting and kicking. Honey seemed reluctant to talk about this but finally said that she didn’t know if she could trust Samantha. It was very sad for Samantha to hear this, but it was clear to me that this lack of trust was not because of anything Samantha had done. When I asked Honey if she felt she had a relationship with Samantha, she showed me that she didn’t. In fact, she actually didn’t have any idea what it meant to be in a close relationship with a person. She showed me that she had always been treated like “a thing” — like a piece of equipment — by her previous owners. She was never given any affection and was only touched as much as was necessary before and after working. This made her feel unsupported, isolated and distrustful.

I assured Honey that Samantha loved her and wanted to be her friend. Honey admitted that Samantha never did anything to hurt her. I reminded Honey that Samantha made sure she had good food, a safe stall, turn out and was a kind rider because Samantha loved her and wanted to have a close relationship with her. Honey showed definite interest in the idea of a close relationship with Samantha. I suggested that, rather than biting and kicking, it would be better if Honey was nice to Samantha and showed her affection. Honey thought about that for a minute and said, “How?” She truly did not have a clue about how to be affectionate with Samantha! I told/showed Honey that when she heard Samantha’s voice, she could look for her and come toward Samantha when she came to her stall or pasture. I showed/told Honey she could touch Samantha gently with her nose, lower her head and relax. I felt Honey sigh in relief when I showed her these things. She said she really wanted to try! I asked Honey how she liked to be brushed. She showed me that she preferred the softest of the brushes and would like to be rubbed at the base of her neck/withers area.

I told Samantha what Honey had said and she was eager to try to bridge the gap so she and Honey could be friends. Samantha admitted that she was anxious when she interacted with Honey in her stall, due to the biting and kicking. I assured her that was totally understandable, but reminded her that Honey would read that anxiety as fear, which would only make Honey more fearful herself. I encouraged Samantha to approach Honey with an open heart — with nonjudgmental, positive energy — the same way she approached other horses. Samantha was eager to try.

Samantha and Honey were both ready to start the next phase in their relationship!

About an hour after the communication session finished, I received an email from Samantha with a new photo and this note: “I took this photo [the photo on the right, above] just after we finished talking to Honey. The difference in her whole expression is astounding! For the first time, Honey reached out and touched me with her nose and put her head down so I could stroke her face. I nearly cried. Thank you so much for the huge difference you’ve already made!”

I received an update from Samantha again, a few months later. She said she’d had Honey’s teeth taken care of. “They were in rough shape”, Samantha reported – but afterwards Honey was much more comfortable in her bridle and more relaxed through her jaw. Honey also got chiropractic and the chiropractor found “everything was either out or sore, just like you said.” Honey needed adjustments at the poll, withers and sacroiliac joints — exactly the areas she’d told us were painful. Honey also had a lameness exam and the vet found Honey’s left stifle “was in pretty bad shape”. But with a good quality joint supplement, an herbal calming product to help with anxiety and plenty of love and support from Samantha, Honey’s fear of the arena have completely disappeared!

The relationship between Samantha and Honey has also continued to change for the better. Samantha said that Honey now likes getting scratched and getting her face brushed and “she’s constantly searching me for treats!” Honey has also gotten very protective of Samantha and has even “guarded” Samantha from other horses, even Honey’s best horse friend.

Samantha reported that Honey is not doing any saddleseat work any more and “is having a blast with jumping!” Samantha said it was clear to her that Honey was “born to jump”, taking to it naturally with no awkwardness. “She never touches a fence rail and is the most powerful jumper I’ve ever ridden,” Samantha said.

Honey and Samantha have developed a trusting, loving and happy relationship and a bright future together.

“Honey is 100% a new horse, thanks to Sky! Honey is one of the bravest, most willing and most athletic horses on the farm and I can’t thank Sky enough for helping us get to where we are now.” — Samantha C, KY.

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